Game of Thrones has ended and a great many people are disappointed in the ending, and Daenerys’ so-called descent into madness. I’m one of those people. I don’t believe Daenerys became the “Mad Queen”. From Season 1, she made it perfectly clear that her enemies would die screaming and it was her intent to burn King’s Landing to the ground. Why it would shock anyone who listened to her for the preceding seven seasons is beyond me.

Daenerys was no Mad Queen. She was in fact, the savior of mankind and deserved much better. The only reason Arya was able to kill the Night King was because of Daenerys. Had she not flown North and saved Jon and his group during their near-fatal trip to the north to capture one of the Deads’ soldiers, The Hound and Beric Dondarrion would not have been at Winterfell to save Arya when she was overwhelmed by the Dead. Arya would have died, plain and simple.

Winterfell never would have had a chance. As I mentioned, The Hound and Beric would not have been there. Neither would have Jorah, the Unsullied, or Dothraki. Jon was the one to rally the Free Folk to join the fight. Who knows what they would have been done, had Jon not been there? Without Daenerys, the Battle of Winterfell would have been one-sided, in which the Northmen, Brienne, Poderik, and Jamie would have been quickly overwhelmed and defeated.

Nothing would have stopped the Night King, Wights and Army of the Dead on their march South. Cersei would have thrown every person in Westeros and King’s Landing in front of her to protect herself. Would she have fled with Euron to the Iron Islands when the Dead approached? No one knows. And no one knows because Daenerys risked her life, and her dragons to save Jon and his crew, and then again, when she fought for the North, losing huge numbers of her armies.

Yes, Daenerys destroyed King’s Landing and those who lived there. As she said she was going to do. Cersei locked the people of King’s Landing inside the walls to use them as a human shield. She believed Daenerys’ compassion would prevent her from destroying the city. Her plan failed.

Tyrion, Jon, and Varys all plotted against Daenerys. Varys said she was too strong and could bend Jon to her will. When a woman’s strength is beneficial to the goals of men, they support her. When her strength prevents her from being manipulated by them, they plotted against her.

Daenerys’ strength and will saved the Seven Kingdoms and the World of Men and the men she trusted, plotted against her and killed her. Perhaps she should have taken her Dothraki, Unsullied and dragons and sailed back to the Grass Sea and remained the Khaleesi. They loved and her strength and strong will and appreciated her ruthlessness when she showed it.

She should have left Westeros, the Seven Kingdoms, Jon, Tyrion, Varys, the Starks and Lannisters to the Army of the Dead.

 

The Dragon Queen deserved better.

 

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We can learn a lot from nature if we pay attention. There was an excellent life lesson outside my kitchen window yesterday, courtesy of nature. While doing the dishes I saw that Mr. Bluejay was sitting in a tree minding his own business. Obnoxious Squirrel decided it had nothing better to do than harass Mr. Bluejay. Obnoxious Squirrel chased Mr. Bluejay from branch to branch. No matter what branch the bluejay flew too, that pest of a squirrel was hot on his feathers.

Bluejay flew to an adjacent tree and that did nothing to deter the fuzzy bully. The squirrel hopped right over and continued his antagonism. I was on my outside to yell out and break-up the bully-session up when Mrs. Bluejay took matters into her own wings. She dive-bombed the squirrel who began running from branch to branch and tree to tree to escape the avenging bird. His attempts at escape were epic failures. Mrs. Bluejay was even more relentless in her attack than the squirrel had been with its bullying.

Finally, the fuzzy twerp jumped to the ground and ran for its life. Satisfied that the jerk squirrel was finally gone for good and perhaps that justice had been meted out, Mrs. Bluejay landed next to Mr. Bluejay.  They sat together for a moment or two and then flew off together.

Life lesson. Don’t be a bully. Someone is probably watching and you will be held accountable and the one who is watching may very well be a whole lot tougher than you.

I was sitting listening to the Hothouse Flowers’s song “Movies” and it slapped me with quite a wave of nostalgia. Thanks to battling anxiety disorder for years, I haven’t been able to go to the movies in a long time. I’ve missed the premiers of so many movies I wanted to see, Transformers, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Guardians of the Galaxy, just to name a few. Sure, there isn’t much of a wait anymore for the movies to be released on DVD and On Demand, but despite the convenience of watching movies at home, pausing whenever I need to, I miss going to the movies.

Forget worrying about parking, the cost of tickets, whether or not the movie is sold-out etc. I loved going to the movies. When we were in high school one if my older sister’s summer jobs was working at a multiplex, across from the mall. It was one of the best summers I had.

Two or three days a week, I would go with her to the movie theater.  I would go to the mall and buy the crew bagels to start their day. I would take my bagel and drink and head into a darkened theater to while away the morning by being transported into whatever movie I was watching.

I saw so many movies that summer, I can’t remember them all. One that stands out, was the painfully awful Jaws 3-D. I saw it way too many times, and it never got any better, of course it really couldn’t have gotten much worse, and I loved every moment of it. It wasn’t the movie; it was the fun of it. I would alternate between food runs to the mall, walking around the mall searching for whatever must-have item I wanted but couldn’t afford, and losing myself in the movies.

I miss that so much. Going to the movies has changed a great deal since I was last able to go. Tickets are preordered. No more showing up and waiting in long lines to either be one of the lucky ones to get in, or finding out the hours long wait was in vain. That happened to me once. It was freezing cold and we were waiting in line for hours. As it happened the movie was sold out the theater didn’t say anything, leaving the crowd to stand and wait until tickets went on sale for the next showing. When word started filtering through the line, we left.

Food is no longer, sort of, maybe fresh popcorn with questionable pseudo-butter oil gloped on it. Odd sized boxes of candy you really didn’t find anywhere else, Whoppers and Non Pareils, anyone? And didn’t we all hate the moviegoer who smuggled in chips and munched and crunched through the movie. Now every kind of food is possible, including wait staff bringing meals to you while you watch the movie.

Sure the movie going experience is different, and I miss going.

To weigh or not to weigh has become a recurrent thought for me. I have had weight issues most of my life. My sister is in a word, petite. I, in a word, am not. I’ve always been bigger and heavier, and as such, I’ve always been the target of jokes, comments, and outright insults.

I would love to be able to eat anything I want and not worry about my weight, but that has never been the case. I was very active when I was young, and even then I was heavy. Now with age and debilitating anxiety reducing my activity level, my weight has steadily climbed over the years. I’m trying to be more active, and slowly succeeding in small increments.  I don’t see myself as ever becoming an athlete, but active and healthy are what I’m striving for.

For several years I have only been weighed when I go to my doctor’s office for a checkup. Lately, I have been more active and have been eating better. I added more fruits and vegetables to my meals and have been walking more. I feel thinner, and think my clothes are a bit baggier. This may be my imagination though, since my usual fashion style is, dressed by ‘House of Blind Hobo’.

I am debating buying a scale to keep track of my weight. I know what my dream weight would be, and what my realistic healthy weight can be. I have no idea how close to that I am. My next checkup is in April. I’m torn between buying a scale and knowing how my progress is going either daily or a couple of times a week, versus knowing only twice a year.

My biggest reason for not buying the scale is I don’t want my weight to become an obsession. Something that is a distinct possibility, as I suffer from borderline OCD. Add to that a healthy dose of anxiety and depression and I could easily fall into the trap of becoming obsessed with my weight and beating myself up over any perceived failure in my goal to be active, healthy and at a lower weight.

My biggest reason to buy a scale and weigh myself is to take pride in whatever success I have when I have it. I am always too hard on myself and would welcome the chance to be proud of any achievement, no matter how small. But as I stated, I can easily overshadow and defeat that desire with self-doubt and criticism. My own negative voice routinely berates me with ridicule, and insults even louder than those of so many others’.

I genuinely don’t know what to do, even though I really want to know how much I weigh.

I’ve had better days. Oh, I’ve had much worse than the last few weeks, but these last few weeks have just been a conglomeration of disappointment. I haven’t heard back from any of the jobs I’ve applied for. My lack of employment opportunities has led to an eagle-eyed watching of my finances.

This means I must pass on all the new Transformer toy releases. There will be no autographs from the upcoming Emerald City Comic Con and to be frank, no anything other than food. To make the finances more fun, we’re getting consecutive snow storms that I get to pay to have shoveled away.

 

I tried out for a voice part in a Transformers video and never heard back on that either. The parts were being given out last week.

 

And just to put that cherry on my disappointment sundae, I threw away my new asthma inhaler. I picked it up while cleaning, and since I had a bunch of stuff in my hand, I didn’t feel that it was the full one, and tossed it. Now I’ll have to pay out of pocket for the refill.

 

So no, there hasn’t been anything terribly wrong, just a lot of little disappointments that have led to a big bowl of down in the dumps soup.

I have an English Mastiff, Rodimus. English Mastiffs are giants in the dog world and everything about them is huge. This would include the exponential floofing that happens every dang day. What do I mean by exponential floofing? I mean Rodimus sheds so much it looks like several Pekinese exploded in my house.

My Dirt Devil has become my trusted companion. Every day we wage war on the incoming flood of floof. To add to the joy of the daily floof fight, Rodimus must attack my vacuum. One would think he’d get used to the vacuum cleaner since I use it every day. Alas, not my giant guardian. Without fail, he flops on his belly and bites the Dirt Devil as it bravely battles the incoming armada of floof. When he is truly on his game, Rodimus lunges up and bites the hose.  Fortunately he has yet to land a death bite.

There is floof all over my house. No sooner do I vacuum it out of one room, I swear it breeds more floof in another room. When I am done writing this blog post, I shall wage today’s war on floof. Rodimus shall resume his war on my trusty Dirt Devil, but together Dirt Devil and I shall battle on in the never ending war on floof.

Yay Mastiffs.

 

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Mars Rover Opportunity has died. After eight months of trying, as of yesterday, February 13, 2019, NASA is no longer going to try to contact the little rover. They are calling her mission complete.

For many of us, myself included, the end of Opportunity is a sad day. It is not just a machine that has stopped working. It is the death of a little rover who did so much. Mars has been the planet of our science fiction stories, comic books and movies.  Oppy and the other rovers let us see that planet as it truly is. Oppy showed us a Mars’ sunset, what the solar eclipse looked like from Mars; Mars’ rocks and dust storms. Her own tread marks in the sand.

I felt the same sadness when Opportunity’s sister rover, Spirit died. Her wheel stuck and with no way to maneuver herself to the North Ridge for sunlight, Spirit’s solar cells could no longer access the sunlight needed to power her battery and she ceased to function.

I sat watching the live feed from NASA as Cassini’s final moments happened. The Saturn probe plummeting towards Saturn, while trying to keep its antennas pointed towards Earth.

I was and am saddened by the loss of all three. I dread to think about the end of Hubble’s function. The images of space the telescope has sent back to Earth have been nothing short of spectacular and breathtaking.

I know many people don’t understand my sadness at the little rover’s passing, and that’s fine with me. To me they were more than an engineered collection of wires, computer chips and motherboards. They were a window to space; a way to see the cosmos and the endless wonder of the universe.  A place I long to see myself.

I thank Cassini, Sojourner, Spirit, Opportunity and wish Curiosity safe travels as he makes his way across Mars.

Goodbye, Opportunity. Your ninety day mission turned into fifteen years of discovery and fascination.

I applied for a job as a writer of geeky toys today. As part of the application process, I had to provide writing samples, so I gave them my blog address. It was rather embarrassing to see that I have neglected my blog for five years; five whole years of nothing.

It is rather shocking that someone who is as opinionated, outspoken, and chatty as I am, has said nothing on her blog for so long. I love talking all things geeky, nerdy, Transformery. Whether I get the job or not, I full well intend to revive my blog and chat about geeky things I love, even if I’m talking to myself. After five years of neglect, I’m pretty sure I’ll be the only one reading this blog. Anyone who was reading it, must have given up on the endless amount of nothing by now.

Your new series, Transformers-Robots In Disguise, is going to air on Cartoon Network. In the press release, you said it is because more boys watch Cartoon Network, that Transformers are for boys, and that girls watch what is still The Hub and will become Discovery Family.
Are you aware of how many of your fans you just insulted and dismissed.?  I am a female, and I have always loved Transformers, even though many deemed me nerdy and geeky because of it. It’s bad enough to be looked at as a freak by your peers simply because you love a particular toy. It is worse when fans of those same  toys — and the toy creator itself — ostracize those they don’t believe belong in the fandom. Yes, girls and women love Transformers just as much as boys and men.

I started watching Transformers when I was a kid in school. It was the original, now known as Generation 1. That was 30 years ago and since then I have watched many different incarnations, Animated, Armada, Beast Wars, Prime. I’ve seen the movies. Cringed at the deaths of Transformers I came to care about. I’ve read the comics, fan fictions, bought toys, tee-shirts and movies.

Now you say they are for boys. Why? Why do feel the need to dictate whom the cartoon is for? Why can’t it be for girls as well? Have you seen Twitter, Facebook and Deviant Art? So many of the Transformer fans there are girls and women.

Gender bias is nothing new and sadly a very real topic in the geek world. To have the very creators of something I enjoy so much deem it not for me because I am a woman bothers me. Transformers are just as much mine as any boy or man’s.

But your comments did not just insult Transformers’ legions of female fans. They also insulted and dismissed the legions of Bronies who are loyal to My Little Ponies. These boys and men have faced mockery and ridicule for their enjoyment and loyalty to a show, you and others have deemed appropriate only for girls. School age boys have been bullied, men have been laughed at and in some cases physically attacked for being Bronies.

Perhaps you could lead the way in ending the gender biased and separatism that plagues not only the geek world, but society in general, by not delegating which genders your shows and toy lines are for. Instead, you could promote and market them to all their fans regardless of gender.

As I watch the series Outlander I don’t have to wonder what it would be like to suddenly find oneself in the same place but in a different time. The sad truth is I am living it every day with my Aunt. She is getting older and suffered a TIA almost two years ago. Since that time I have been her full time caregiver and I have watched as this strong, vibrant, intelligent woman has declined physically and mentally.

I’ve watched this slow decline over the last year and a half but it never hit me as hard as it did the other day. My Aunt enjoys spending time on the enclosed back porch. I clicked the security camera on and watched her shuffle back to her seat. She is no longer the woman who climbed Machu Pichu and the pyramids in Mexico. Instead what I saw was a thin, frail, woman hunched over a cane, holding on as she went. A lump formed in my throat as my chest knotted.

She is living with me here and now but not really. More often than not she looks at me and says she feels like she has woken up in another time. Inevitably this leads her to ask me when she will be going home. She bought the house we live in over 60 years ago and now she thinks she lives back in the apartment she grew up in. Each time she asks, I explain how we are home and retell the story of how and when she bought the house. A story she used to tell me with pride when I was growing up.

When I see something wrong, I want to fix it. I’ve always been this way. I can’t fix this. I can only take care of her, retell the story of her life to her and reassure her. It doesn’t seem to be near enough and I feel helpless and useless.

For my Aunt, huge parts of her life are missing. She has indeed gone to another time while in the same place, but there is no romance in her journey. It is one of fear and heartbreak. She knows what is happening to her. There are days she knows where and when she is and is terrified. She can’t stop what is happening, none of us can.